Well... I Tried.

Two weeks into my big trip abroad and I just ate my last Twirl. I'm done.

My One Week Prague-iversary

I did it. I survived one whole week living abroad. It has somehow been both the fastest and slowest week of my life. Fastest because there has been so much to see, to learn and to do. Slowest because it has been such a big adjustment - life is extremely different here. A new job in a new city all in one week would be a lot, but a new job in a new city in a country where I do not speak the language? I sometimes have to ask myself, what was I thinking?

Then I look around me at the ornate buildings and I listen to all of the different voices and I remember that I was thinking how this would be such a big adventure. How this trip would not just give me a change of scenery physically, but mentally. How I came home from a month in this city just over a year ago and knew that I had to live here one day. I just had to. I really feel that sometimes you can connect to a place as strongly as you can with a person - you can miss a place as strongly as you can miss your best friend when they aren't around - and coming back to Prague felt like reuniting with a best friend after way too long. It was like no time had passed at all, but there was still so much to catch up on.

It feels very weird, hearing people talking and having no idea what they are saying. It's even worse when they are talking to you. Do they speak English? I don't know. What did they actually say?? I don't know. How do I tell them I don't understand??? I. Don't. Know. In a normal situation, I would probably just ask them if they speak English or hazard a guess and nod but when panic sets in, your brain doesn't work like that. My first few days here, panic lingered like an unwanted house guest. I hated the thought of attempting to speak (very limited) Czech to a real life Czech person; shyness and anxiety took hold of my vocal chords and made it impossible to communicate in any language at all. But I want Prague to be different. I want to push myself here. I don't want it to be like home, where I rarely go out because of the fear and dread it fills me with, or I have to cancel plans at the last minute because the thought of being sociable makes me so anxious that I get ill, or I absolutely freak out if I am not in control of every situation right down to the final detail. So I had a choice to make. Waste this opportunity through fear of making a mistake, or go out and see the world and prove to myself that I was made for this.

So what if I can't pronounce the words right just yet (except the swear words, nailed them!), so what if people stare at me blankly when I speak my English to them? So what if I get it wrong sometimes? Everybody starts somewhere. I'm in my favourite city, surrounded by some of my favourite people, working for an incredible company, there really isn't anything more I could ask for. It is beautiful here and my soul feels at home. So I'll go out and I'll explore and I'll go to work and get shut in an Alchemist's chamber and I will go to a restaurant to celebrate my first week in Prague and decide to order in Czech... and then my pizza will come out and it will be covered in sweetcorn instead of pineapple. Then again, I did say I wanted it to be different here. You can't get much more different than that.